I want your wallet, I want your disease. I want your obesity as long as it’s free promo.
The media called Gaga “fat”, she pretended she didn’t care and the next day she came up with a new movement called “Body Revolution 2013”. It really hurt her, huh? So here’s Lady Gaga, once again, taking advantage of a serious social issue, this time a global health problem: Eating disorders.
I can’t wait for her fans to say something like: “Of course she does it because she cares about this issue, not because she is promoting a new album”
*insert pre-recorded laughs here*.
But I wonder…
Why would a woman who supposedly loves and accepts her body, allow a magazine to photoshop her image waaaaay too much so she could be on the cover? Yes, this month, the same month of her “Body Revolution” movement, Gaga is on the cover of a magazine that has been promoting unrealistic beauty standards for 120 years now.
But don’t worry, fat people of the world! You don’t need to take care of your health, you don’t have to exercise, there’s no need to change your diet because you were born that way. Just get your fat rolls ready because, thank God, we have Gaga. The most appropriate person to talk about accepting our bodies. All you have to do is:
- Accept yourself
- Be brave
- Soak yourself in alcohol
- Be brave
- Smoke some weed
- Take a course in Photoshop (or hire a pro, in case you want to look skinny on the cover of a magazine)
- Be more brave than ever for the next step
- Take pictures of yourself -preferably half naked- and post them to littlemonsters.com (don’t forget to suck your stomach in while you pose for the camera).
- You are ready to start whining about how fat and miserable you feel.
- Wait for everybody to post a comment.
“There’s nothing wrong in loving who you are”
But being unhealthy, promoting the use of drugs plus alcohol-based diets, and the next day crying and playing the victim card just because you want to take advantage of a real health problem is WRONG. That’s how the most famous celebrity on the planet works.